Today on Sylvia Wednesday, she said we all have jobs on the Other Side. Cause someone asked about a loved one that past over, how they were doing... and Sylvia said they were working with animals. Then she said her and Montel are both councelers and guides over there. I know I've heard her say that we have busy lives over there, but jobs?
So theres another question to ask if I ever go see a psychic. I love taking care of animals... maybe its something like that.
Then yesterday I seen and felt more spirits around more than any other day. I know the veil was open and everything and thats why. But for a while I was a lil scared. Then I got all anxious and my mom ended up getting me some anxiety pills. She keeps saying somethings wrong with me and I need to go to the dr. Psh, I know exactly what they'll do... tell me I need to go see some psychotherapist or something, and I'm not doing that. According to her, being a sensite must mean I'm not all there.
There was a special Sylvia haunting show on, and that made me happy. I hate ghosts... but I love them.
I haven't been in the mood for food, but my madre just brought me some nachos from I think Tom N Ski's, and they're sooo good.
She wants me to make fried cheese dogs for this Halloween party tonight. Tis my own recipe... good stuff. Then I gotta get some pumpkins. Its always the last minute for us.
AHHH!! Almost fell outta my chair.
I'm watching The Flinstones in spanish. They always have the good movies on in spanish... it sucks. I love their house. Gettin showered by dinosaurs and everything. That'd be the sweet life.
Googling something earlier, I found What Lies Beyond. I miss going to all them IF forums. I still haven't tried that... still haven't gotten a friend.
The first nightmare I had, was that I went crazy. I went in this big tall building and rode the elevator to the top. Then on my way down, everyone that I would meet, I would kill.
The second nightmare, I was in my room, and there was different peoples coming in and out of my house. I killed like 5-6 of them for no reason. Then I put the bodies in bags and was gonna bury them.
Towards the end, my last victim was this lil old lady and I stabbed her. Then I stabbed her again. And while walking out my room, I just happened to through the knife at her one last time, and it went through her neck.
When I came back in my room from doing whatever, she was on my floor and I didn't wanna get blood on it. So I dragged her on my bed, face down, and there was tons of blood spilling out of her.
So then I grabbed a trash bag and was stuffing her body in it, and I had this fear that she was gonna come back to life and grab me like they do in movies. But she didn't. Instead I heard a whispering voice say, "They know." and I woke up.
The third nightmare, I was still in my room and Hope and Jacob came over. Hope was a mess, and I asked her what was wrong and she said peoples were after her.
The next thing I know, we're sitting by my window and like 50 peoples show up on my lawn and were looking for Hope. Well they were just standing there, and waiting for her to come out. They were all cholos and cholas, and had guns. I grabbed mine and started shooting them. They were shooting back. I kept moving Hope away from the window, cause they were aiming for her. I killed a few of them. But then one of them noticed my gun was a BB gun, and they were getting closer.
I ran to the kitchen to get some knives, and then I went in the bathroom and on the counter there was a note from Jacob that said it was for me, and a bag of lemon salt. I opened it and inside was some mixed nuts, and a bag of weed. I ate a couple nuts. Then I was putting the weed in my pocket, but it slipped and fell in the toilet. I got it out as fast as I could, it was sealed tight, but it was all blue. I looked in the toilet and seen that the water was moldy green. I got really grossed out and started washing my hands like crazy.
Then I seen my mom in the backyard talking to a cop, and I started to get paranoid. I put the weed in my bra and went back in my room. One of the guys shot Hope, and I got mad. Then I jumped out my window and started stabbing people with pumpkin carvers. A lot of them ran off, seeing this mad crazy woman, but it was still a war.
So I killed some, and the rest left and my mom came in. She told me that we're moving. I got happy and asked where. Then she said Eerie. I don't wanna move to Eerie! If we were gonna move somewhere I thought it'd be something better... not in the middle of no where and worse than this place. She kept telling me it was a beautiful house, but still... I wasn't happy.
Then Jacob comes up to me and asks me if I wanna smoke the weed, and I said no. He kept bugging me about it and I went off on him telling him that I don't wanna do that crap, and on and on... surprisingly I did something good.
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Dreaming that you have committed a murder indicates that you are putting an end to an old habit and your former ways of thinking. Alternatively, you may have some repressed aggression or rage at yourself or at others. It also represents your unused talents. Note also that dreams of murder occur frequently during periods of depression.
I dreamed not board games, but electronic handheld games. Me and a friend were sitting by my window playing them. There was 3... Monopoly, Black Jack and something else. Hyperdictionary says "To dream that you are playing games means relaxation or competition. It may also represent the rules you play by." I was thinking it meant this person is playing games with me. Still don't make sense.
Then I had a nightmare... I had male equipment. That scared me. So I was thinking it meant something with the male emotions? Idk how to say it and can't find the words for it... but yeah.
hwbjr25fb on ebay, is an evil witch and I think they're stalking me.
I realized I need to work on my 5's. I can't make one! It looks like crap. Seriously... that is the hardest thing to write.
I've been dropping everything. Idk if its cause I'm weak or something and everything is just slipping out of my hands.
Why is everyone now saying "I'm a sad panda." It annoys me and I think its really... retarded. And I know what retarded is. I've had plenty of experience in it.
Ohhh so sweet. On Jay Leno, there was this scientist dude who carved pumpkins with explosions. He just put them in the pumpkin and aimed them a certain way to make the eyes and mouth and everything. Then BOOM, it exploded and you got your pumpkin carved! If I were to try that, I know it'd go terribly wrong.
Its the end of the Orionids. I seen 40 meteors, which isn't bad... I don't think. I don't know anyone else who watches meteor showers. Sad...
I watched Death Tunnel. Bob told me if I wanted to see something scary, to watch it. So I did. Didn't make much sense... It was just a bunch of evil ghosts popping up on every corner.
I went ebay crazy lastnight. I got several things... so I be expecting mail soon. Plus ever since I joined freestuff I been ordering a lot of random crap. I got my book "The Truth About Angels" but I haven't even opened it yet. I haven't been in the mood for anything.
Lately I've been having recurring dreams of board games. This nightmare I had earlier was all about this game. Idk what it was, but it was like the pieces in it and everything was my life.
Then I had another dream where I decided to move into our guest room. It was way bigger than mine, and had like 5 big windows, a door that led to outside and everything.
I was moving all my stuff in, and I had my old aquarium that my Pelon died in. Except it wasn't even cleaned. It was like I never took him out and just let him rot in there with filthy water.
So I started looking at it, and seen 2 big black funny looking fish with huge eyes in there. I started freaking out, cause I never got anymore fish. I ran and got my mom and wanted to show her, but she wasn't interested and didn't wanna see. So I was looking everywhere for some fish food. I didn't want them to die and I had never fed them before. Couldn't find any... was going crazy... then that was over.
Then Nemo came over and she was helping me. We were taking some junk out of the room, and she found a comb. She told me she always wanted one like it, and then she handed it to me and I said, "Unbreakable." and then bent it. Then it broke! Psh so much for unbreakable. Sorry Nemo...
So I went and got another comb and gave it to her. This one was unbreakable. She was weird and started smelling it happy about it.
Then we were going through some things and she found an old spell book. We sat on the bed and started going through it, and all the spells in it were... odd. There was this one that was for a cream to make, using ovacado, and at the corner of the page there was a lil cup of ovacado. It was starting to get bad. :\ It was a dirty, green cream. We laughed throughout the book... and then watched some game show with Alfonso Ribeiro.
Reminds me of when I went trick-or-treating with Kathy. We were walking through this alley, and she opened her big mouth and said something to this dude. Then he pulled out a knife and started chasing us. Dunno if it was real or not... we just ran for our lives.
I dreamed that I met this guy online and he lived in my town. We didn't talk very long, and then he was asking me if I could babysitt his 2 lil sisters. I said I'll have to see and I told him I'd call him. But it was past the time that I said I'd call. ...Don't you just hate it when peoples don't call when they say they're going to?
So then I was in my moms room, and I see a car pull up and it was him! I knew what he looked like from his picture on his profile. He had short dyed blonde hair and yeah... he looked like that blonde bully on the movie Kazaam. So I run to my mom and tell her to tell him that I'm not home, then I run back in my moms room.
She did tell him, but he didn't believe her. I guess he really got to know me in that short time we talked. So I was doing something in her room still, and then he pops up on the window. Ahh! Scared the crap out of me! Then he climbs through... :|
I was telling him to leave cause I looked like crap. I really did. Hair, clothes, everything wasn't right. But he said he didn't care and came in. Then he was just looking at me. I didn't like it. I told him, "Yeah, you see... I can tell you're sickened by the way you're looking at me. Why don't you just go now." and he kept telling me I was beautiful and all that crap. He didn't leave.
So we decide to go in my room. Walking past my mom, she had this scared look on her face like, "How did he get in here??" and I was thinking she'd stop us. But she didn't. We went in my room. Closed the door. We talked for a long time. Then he had this big black bag with him and he started pulling out all kinds of junk. He pulled out this guitar and started playing. But it wasn't even a real guitar... it was like buttons you just press. I was laughing at that. Then he got a bunch of other "toys" and messed with them.
After that it was like I was going out with him. I liked him, everything about him seemed too good. So I was scared, cause I knew something bad had to happen. I was waiting for it.
It was the next day and I went over to his house. He wasn't home yet, so I was just waiting for him. He had a big family, they were running around everywhere. The place was really crowded. Then his older sister came over to me and started asking me questions. I knew he was Christian, I could tell just by the house. So his sister asked me all kinds of questions, and I guess I said the right answers and she was happy with me. But then she asks, "What religion are you?" and I told her I'm Neo-Pagan. Then it all went to hell. Really, they all went after me, like burn the witch! Yup... I knew it was coming. Thats why I made sure not to get "happy" with him.
Oh, and his name was Travis. I been getting names now in my dreams, I never did before and it bugged the hell outta me. But I remember asking him what his name was 3 times, cause I couldn't remember it. "Whats your name again?" over and over haha. Yes I'm quite annoying.
Tonight I been sick-er. Idk whats happening, but I get like a hot flash, then I feel real sick all of a sudden and get real dizzy. I almost broke my neck in the shower. Maybe my sweet death is coming soon.
Right now I'm eating my first caramel apple. It's pretty good... you were right Nemo. I always get candy apples, but never caramel.
Yesterday there I was feeling like crap again... depression, anxiety, losing my mind all together... then my madre brings me a rose and a caramel apple. I asked her why she got me a rose and she shrugged and said "Because I love you." So simple, yet so perfect and just what I needed. I wanted to cry heh, so I came in my room. Shes the best.
"Life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for having been allowed to walk where I've walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, and above." -Gia
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